A Christmas Wish
by CaptKJaneway peadom
Summary: Kathryn and Chakotay wind up sharing quarters during the Christmas season. Kathryn is challenged to make a selfish wish. What will she wish for? DISCLAIMER: I don't own them. They belong to paramount etc.


Author's Chapter Notes:

This was written for Secret Santa 2008 for Baqhnara.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Paramount. However, they did not know what to do with them, but I had a few ideas. All actions taken within this story are the result of my personal fantasies and I take full responsibility for them.

"Here is to ten years of survival." Kathryn raised her glass towards her first officer."Hear. Hear." Chakotay tapped his glass against hers and smiled.

The slow flash of joy brought the usual pang of loneliness and desire to her chest. Looking away from him quickly, she tried to control her reaction. A Christmas tree sat in the corner of the room, two presents settled on the bright red cloth. The pillow and blanket lying folded neatly on the couch reminded her of the hell she had lived in for the past six months. Their passengers were due to depart the ship in two weeks, an eternity in her eyes. She was not aware of how long she had been staring at the space between the tree and the pillow. But when she looked back at her temporary roommate, he was staring at her.

"What?" her voice came out rough.

"Nothing. It's Christmas Eve and you look like you're on your way to the gallows. What's wrong Kathryn?" He asked softly her knee gently. "Talk to me."

"I don't know what to say."

"Just tell me what you are thinking."

"I...I can't. I'm sorry, Chakotay, but I just can't." With that she jumped out of the chair and rushed to her bedroom before she threw herself in his arms. Kathryn sank down to the floor, her arms crossed over her, holding herself away from the brink. She focused on breathing deeply and evenly. When she felt that she had better control of herself she rose and reentered the main room.

Chakotay's back was to her, giving her a precious few moments to take in the sight of him standing bare chested in her living room. She could feel the heat flowing through her body. Her hands itched to touch the muscles of his back.

"If you could have one Christmas wish, no strings attached, no ramifications, what would it be?" his voice cut through her fantasy.

"What do you mean?" she asked breathlessly.

"If you could have anything, do anything without fear of repercussions or anyone else even knowing, something completely selfish, what would it be?"

"I would want wormhole to..."

"No, Kathryn," he cut her off, turning to face her, "it has to be for you only. Something selfish, not for the crew." he walked to stand before her, his hands lifting to gently grasp her shoulders."Answer me Kathryn."

She looked up, meeting his eyes, her desire plain on her face. She drew a quivering breath."What I want...I can't have."

"Say it Kathryn. Please." The please undid the last vestige of her self control.

"You."

The word fell into the room like a bomb, leaving gaping wounds on both on both of them.

"I would want you. Completely. Even if it was for just one night. I would want to just be Kathryn, the woman spending a holiday of joy with the man she loves."

She met Chakotay's gaze, her breath catching at the unbridled passion burning there. She could not form the words to protest as he slowly lowered his face to hers. The first touch of his lips was fleeting, a brush, testing. Then she was in his arms, pressed to the hard, bare length of his body. Her tongue fought his for supremacy; his scent filled her head, blurring the lines of duty. Kathryn protested when his lips left hers and sighed in satisfaction when they feathered down her neck. Her fingers tightened into fists in his hair, drawing him back to the sensitive dip below her ear. Chakotay pulled away and drew her to the small tree with its colorful twinkling lights and handed her a small package.

"Open your present Kathryn." Confusion speared through the desire coursing in her bloodstream, leaving her slightly dazed.

"What? Chakotay, I..." He placed his fingers over her lips and grinned crookedly at her.

"We will finish, but I want you to open this first."

"Okay, but you first." Chakotay sighed, but reached down to grasp the package left under the tree. He grasped the corner and pulled, revealing the long black stone. As he studied the carvings, Kathryn began to get a little nervous.

"Do you like it?"

"Did you...do this yourself?"

"Yes," she replied "I studied the markings on your stone and...I mean, the stone is replicated, but..." her voice faded uncertainly.

"It's perfect. Every time I speak to my animal guide I will know that you are with me." Kathryn turned her attention to the small box in her hands. Tugging at the paper she revealed a small blue velvet box. She lifted the lid and the small pop of the old fashioned hinge echoed like a shot in the silence.

The simple diamond ring suddenly felt heavy in her hand. She opened her mouth but found that she could not form the words that she needed. A movement in front of her drew her attention. Chakotay knelt on one knee before her, one hand reaching for hers, the other for the ring.

"Kathryn," He began as the first tear slipped down her cheek. "I have loved you for so long. You are my reason for living and I vow that I will love you, desire you and be right here beside you for the rest of my life, no matter where this journey leads. And I want to be there for the entire journey, until we are both old and grey. Will you marry me?"

The air left her lungs with a whoosh and she felt like she had been sucker punched. Every dream she had ever had, every fantasy, none of it could equal this. She has asked for one night and he was kneeling before her offering a lifetime. Love glowed from her eyes and she gave the only answer she had.

"Yes."

END


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